I get a kick out of going to my mailbox! Even today, with email, Facebook, texting, I love a hand-written note. I enjoy a good party too....so when an invitation hits the mail box, woo-hoo! Let me ask you something. Do you toss the invitation aside and wait to see if something better comes along? If so, shame on you. There is a 3-day rule.
On or before day 3, call the host and respond. Just because the French translation says "respond..if you please" - it will NOT please the host if he is waiting for your reply. The only correct way to wait is if your schedule truly is iffy. Then call right away and say: "I would love to come; but we are waiting to see when the soccer finals are. I won't know until ____." And, by the way - we are to respond whether our answer is yea or nay. When calling, be specific: "I'm RSVP'ing to tell you we'll be there (or we're unable to make it)."
I've been the brunt of poor RSVP'ing for many a year during Christmas. We have an annual party and quite a few times I've opened the door to a face I thought wasn't attending. What to do? Since I teach manners and they know it, and this may be my #1 Pet Peeve, I cannot help but say: "Oh! Hi _____, I didn't know you were coming. Please come in." That may not be the most mannerly; but I can't help myself.
Also note to whom the invitation is addressed. If it is to "Mr. & Mrs. C. U. Later" then only the Mr. & Mrs. are invited. When you show up at the door with little Laters, it's quite the faux pas.
Take a moment and consider what a host must calculate for said party:
- Food
- Beverage
- Flowers-centerpieces
- Room rental (by headcount)
- Corsages and boutonnieres
...and more! Good manners is thinking of others. Please, always remember to RSVP!
Welcome to Blogger world. Your advice and helpful hints will be so useful.
ReplyDelete♥ Joy
I'm so glad you posted this because it is my biggest pet peeve! Everyone thinks they are so busy and never RSVP anymore. They either do or don't show up at the last minute. I'm all for the casual affair, but it does take time and effort to plan for certain events and I think it is so rude and arrogant of people to not RSVP!
ReplyDeleteAmen, Em! It is JUST soooo inconsiderate.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGood work, Virginia! It's scary what people notice but don't tell you. Perhaps through this awesome blog, people can learn vicariously. RSVPing....It's lost tradition, even in the big apple NYC, since we have may different cultures living together. People don't know that you must "respond regardless" It's more embarrassing when couples show up to the wedding receptions where head counts are crucial to the table set-ups. YIKES! Big faux pas!
ReplyDeleteJoyce! GREAT to "hear" from you!!!!! So, even in NYC, RSVPs are tough to come by. Yikes is right!
ReplyDeleteI live in Southern California. It's the land of the super-casual. I feel lucky if anyone RSVPs at all! I always have to sort of ball-park my party preparations because inevitably the morning (or afternoon! or several times even 30 minutes before!) the event people are calling asking for directions or asking what they can bring and I didn't even know they were coming! Very frustrating for me.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE your blog! I found you through Joy In The Burbs! I will be linking to you and referring others! I wish you lived near me because I was just considering doing a manners course for our homeschool co-op next year. I'll be back for lots of tips!
My daughter (Gombojav Tribe) sent me your link. I am so glad she did! I love what you've written so far! I will be sharing your site with others! (especially this RSVP post!)
ReplyDelete