Kindness Conquers!

There's a place I frequent (far too often) that is lovely inside.  As warm as the interior was; the shop owner wasn't.  When I meet someone that I perceive unfriendly or even hostile OR I find hard to like, my mindset immediately goes to:  "I am going to conquer them." 

We've all heard the saying "kill them with kindness."  It works!  Perhaps I just wore her down with my chipper demeanor; but I'd say the shop owner and I are now on friendly terms. 

Tomorrow, fifteen (15) youngsters from 8 to 12 years old, are attending a Manners Boot Camp.  A goal is to teach them that kindness is much more valuable than knowing what fork to use.

I'll let you know how we do.

Slow down...look both ways!

I was stopped in church today by a woman who wanted to talk about a pet peeve.  The question was, "Where is courtesy today?  Why on earth do teenagers think they can plow through a crowd without any consideration of others?"  While standing in the foyer I witnessed exactly that.

The rules of etiquette are in place for the very reason we have traffic lights.  What would happen without them?  When we run a light, we have a wreck.  Without manners - rules to abide by, we'd BE wrecks! 

It seems there's a correlation between traffic and our behavior.  It's best to slow down and look both ways!

First Impressions Last!

I had the privilege of watching 7th and 8th graders participate and enjoy themselves at Cotillion last night.  They walked into the party looking "the part."  They know we have 15 to 30 seconds to make a GOOD first impression or a POOR one.  We can change the opinion of others but that takes work.  The first impression lingers....

They showed off their manners to the parents in attendance! 

1. Name tags on the right shoulder
2. Shake hands, web to web
3. Good eye contact
4. Smile, when introducing yourself

I actually remember what it feels like in the 8th grade!  Been there, done that.  And oh, my....if they can just get it: the tools to feel confident - wherever they may be; a classroom, gym, stage, dance floor, tennis court - are at their fingertips.  And, then...to treat others as THEY want to be treated.  With kindness and respect.  While I've seen this group do their share of eye-rolling, and "uh, uh, not her" or "not him!" (which is normal!) last night they rose to the occasion.  It proves that they are capable.  Dress 'em up, take them out of their routine and they RISE.  It was such a treat to be in the midst of 7th and 8th grade students with their PARENTS, enjoying the evening. 

Talk to your kids...I strongly recommend role playing.  Have the family stage a receiving line - teach them how to shake hands.  Firmly.  Practice smiling if it doesn't come naturally.  Tell them it melts our hearts when we are acknowledged:  "Hi, Mrs. Johnson, nice to see you!"

Knowing what to do in a social situation, with confidence, is the sign of a leader!

RSVP is NOT an option!

I get a kick out of going to my mailbox! Even today, with email, Facebook, texting, I love a hand-written note. I enjoy a good party too....so when an invitation hits the mail box, woo-hoo! Let me ask you something. Do you toss the invitation aside and wait to see if something better comes along? If so, shame on you. There is a 3-day rule.

On or before day 3, call the host and respond. Just because the French translation says "respond..if you please" - it will NOT please the host if he is waiting for your reply. The only correct way to wait is if your schedule truly is iffy. Then call right away and say: "I would love to come; but we are waiting to see when the soccer finals are. I won't know until ____." And, by the way - we are to respond whether our answer is yea or nay. When calling, be specific: "I'm RSVP'ing to tell you we'll be there (or we're unable to make it)."

I've been the brunt of poor RSVP'ing for many a year during Christmas. We have an annual party and quite a few times I've opened the door to a face I thought wasn't attending. What to do? Since I teach manners and they know it, and this may be my #1 Pet Peeve, I cannot help but say: "Oh! Hi _____, I didn't know you were coming. Please come in." That may not be the most mannerly; but I can't help myself.

Also note to whom the invitation is addressed. If it is to "Mr. & Mrs. C. U. Later" then only the Mr. & Mrs. are invited. When you show up at the door with little Laters, it's quite the faux pas.

Take a moment and consider what a host must calculate for said party:

1. Food
2. Beverage
3. Flowers-centerpieces
4. Room rental (by headcount)
5. Corsages and boutonnieres

...and more! Good manners is thinking of others. Please, always remember to RSVP!

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

Definition: offspring grow up to be like their parents. What goes on at home WILL walk out the door and show itself in the form of our offspring. Isn't it lovely when we get a good report? Our child behaved - was polite, said "thank you." We aren't supposed to live through them; but their behavior reflects their homelife, like it or not. I propose we start something. A movement so to speak. NICE DOES MATTER!

This blog is a sounding board for:

1. My personal pet peeves in the world of manners
2. How to dine like a diplomat
3. Thank you notes - correspondence protocol
4. RSVP'ing and all facets of partying with polish
5. ...and curious rants, I am sure.
6. I'll also announce upcoming events

Tell me what you do at home to promote manners! How do you teach your offspring to be nice?

...because nice matters!