Boss Etiquette

To all the bosses out there - please use YOUR good manners and treat your employees well.  We need respect just as much as you do.  Some suggested tips:

1. Do not use vile, ugly curse words.
2. Do not ask your assistant to buy inappropriate gifts for your spouse.
3. Do not call an employee's home...say past 9 pm.
4. Do not throw staplers.

It's a well known fact that productivity and morale is higher with a fair, even tempered boss at the helm.

(A related story can be read here...)

Chivalry is NOT Dead!

What is a gentleman to do when he wants to be just that?  A gentleman!  Fifty years ago the rules were non-negotiable.  He'd be considered crass if he did not open the door for her.  Or aid in putting on her coat. 

{Etiquette Past:  On the street, a man walked on the curb side — a custom born of the idea that women needed to be shielded from the potential hazards posed by the passing horse-and-buggy parade.}

These times are a-changing and some women wield power by showing their independence and "diss" acts of kindness by a man.

Gentlemen.  Here is the solution.  Ask her what she prefers.  "May I help you with your coat?"  "Here, let me get the door for you." You have shown good manners and it's up to her to accept graciously or in my opinion, be crass by refusing the offer.

I think that even today women like to be treated like ladies.  I know I do!

Fine Arts Etiquette: A Fine Line

As we sat in the fine arts center waiting for the program to start; my eyes darted to & fro.  Oh, my---a gentleman in shorts and a ball cap.  There's a woman with enough thigh and cleavage showing I wonder, how DOES she sit comfortably? 

And two seats down a hip teen pulls out the cell phone and texts.  And texts more.  Even when the lights go out. 

People are supporting the fine arts.  Yay!  But, in my humble opinion the art of "what to do in public" is not so fine!

Communication Counts!

(reproduced with permission from artist/cartoonist, Dave Coverly)

Hys-ter-ical.  Dave Coverly's cartoon made my husband and I laugh out LOUD!  I clipped it and held on to it.  I'll definitely incorporate it in a future class.

The cartoon is spot on.  What HAVE we come to?  The art of communication is a bunch of grunts without eye contact.

I tell students to turn off cell phones at the beginning of a class.  You'd think I had asked them to cut off their thumbs.  I mean really....you should see the eye contact I get at THAT request.

An earlier post of mine on how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is here.  I hope the cartoon is far from your reality.

May I suggest YOU communicate to your kiddo

just how to communicate.

We like:

- To look into their eyes
- Shake their hands
- Learn something about them (in person not via a text message)

Strong communication skills are signs of a confident young person and a potential leader.

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young had something when they sang "Teach Your Children Well."

Manners=Tools for Life!

It takes 12 to 15 seconds to make a good (or poor) first impression.  The majority of kids that come to a Manners Boot Camp (or other venue) are a wee bit hesitant.  Some cling to their parents, others find a chair and hunker down (aka poor posture) and attempt to be invisible.

...and in the middle of class a transformation can occur.  When they learn that manners help them feel comfortable in a social situation; they get it.  We role play.  Shake hands.  Practice introducing one another. 

When we have a dining tutorial they rise to the occasion.  They ask great questions too! 

Last week University of Texas-Houston Medical School held an Etiquette Dinner for some of their pre-med students. 

One such question was "What do I do with the lemon on my glass

if I don't LIKE lemon?"

 

I suggested:  1. discard it on their bread plate (if they have one) or 2. "plop" it into the glass without squeezing.  The drink won't taste lemony (since it wasn't squeezed) and yet it's out of the way.

Now, the pre-med students were NOT hesitant.  In fact, they were excited to be there; realizing the value of how to handle (everything) themselves at dinner while making an excellent impression. 

The gentlemen rose a bit from their chair when the young ladies excused themselves.  That was new to them.  And when they heard how it impresses "chicks" - I do believe it'll become one of their "tools."

That's how I look at manners - they are TOOLS FOR LIFE.  No matter where you come from, how educated you are, what job you have - IF you have good manners you automatically look more confident.
And these future docs must look confident!

We end class by shaking hands - a firm handshake, web-to-web, with good eye contact.  And again - no matter how old they are...they leave with firmer handshakes and a bit more confidence.

They've added a few tools to their tool box for life!

 

Q & A

Question:  We received an invitation to a wedding but are unable to attend.  Do we have to send a gift?

Answer:  The proper protocol is to send a gift.  By sending an invitation to you; a gift is expected.  The same for a wedding shower.  If you're not going to attend even a small gift should be sent:  flowers or a gift certificate for a mani/pedi.  By choosing not to send a gift it's a (soft) signal that you're terminating the friendship.

Thank You Note Know-How

Etiquette requires you to send a thank-you note in the following situations:

• Wedding gifts
• Bridal shower
• Graduation gifts
• Baby shower gifts
• Holiday, birthday, Bar/Bat mitzvah
• Housewarming gifts
• Sympathy letters, flowers, mass cards, or donations made in the deceased’s name

Thank-you notes are not necessarily required but are a nice gesture in the following situations:

• When a host has treated you to a cocktail party, dinner, or concert
• After a job interview
• Anytime you feel particularly indebted to someone

Components of the Thank-You Note


1. Address the giver.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Henderson, or Dear Mary,


It may seem obvious, but addressing the giver directly rather than simply starting your letter gives your note a more personal touch.

2. Express your gratitude.


Thank you so much for the silver picture frame.


Be sure to be specific when you mention the gift. Instead of just saying “Thank you for the glasses." try “Thank you for the beautiful crystal champagne flutes." It will make your note feel more personal and less generic.


If the gift was money, never directly mention “cash” in the note. Instead, thank the giver for his generosity.

3. Discuss how you plan to use the gift or how much the gesture means to you.


We’ve put a picture of the family on our last vacation inside it and placed it on our mantel. It looks great!


Mention how you intend to use the gift and compliment it in some way. If the gift was money, allude to how you intend to use the money by saying something like, “It will be a great help to us when we purchase . . .”

It is sometimes more helpful to describe how meaningful the gesture is to you, such as "John and I know you spent countless hours assembling this photo album, and we will always treasure it."

4. Mention your relationship to the giver.


It was great seeing you at the house warming party, and we hope to see you again this spring at the reunion.

5. Reiterate your gratitude.

Thank you again for your kind gift.

6. Regards.


Sincerely,


Guy and Girl Gracious

A thank-you note is exclusively about expressing your gratitude, so don’t worry if your note seems short and simple. The only hard and fast rule is that it be sincere -- even if you do not care for the gift, you can express gratitude for the gesture.