A MOB's Point of View

This is a rant....and I apologize if I hurt the feelings of Moms of Daughters. Ok, I want to understand.  WHY!  Why do young girls have to wear such revealing attire?  I attended a recent event.  There were 150 high school girls in attendance with their mothers.  It was a daytime, Christmas function.

I'm all about dressing up.  We ARE girls after all.  I'd venture to guess 80% were (SO!) inappropriately dressed my jaw dropped.  (But, since I know my manners they did not know my jaw dropped!).

Had I been an employer, I would not have hired oh about 130 of these young ladies.  Bosoms jiggling out of the tops of dresses, thighs exposed to who knows where, dresses so tight they looked sandblasted onto their bodies. 

Ok, I am a MOB (Mother of Boys).....but I am trying to teach young ladies on appropriate attire, how to look their best, how to interview.  What is the point?  Why do we even have the word "modesty" in our dictionary?

I do not get it.

Hostess Gift Go-To Guide

You've RSVP'd for the Christmas party. You know your manners and it's an act of kindness to give a hostess gift. Below is a list of lovelies….one of which is sure to make a happy hostess!  A fruitcake is NOT on the list.

For the powder room:

• Hand towels
• Pretty soaps
• Potpourri (evergreen, cinnamon scent)
• A small votive with candle

For the kitchen:

• Small serving pieces (Christmas-themed) may or may not be filled with Christmas cookies
• Spreaders and cocktail forks
• Christmas cookbook
• Home-made baked goods
• Tea towels
• Rosemary tree (for the cook)

For the bar:

• Wine
• Decorative wine bottle stoppers
• Cocktail napkins
• Holiday coasters
• Tin of "good" nuts
  
   

Miscellaneous:

• Christmas ornament
• Plant: cyclamen or poinsettia
• A special candle
• Christmas CD (your favorite music!)

Boss Etiquette

To all the bosses out there - please use YOUR good manners and treat your employees well.  We need respect just as much as you do.  Some suggested tips:

1. Do not use vile, ugly curse words.
2. Do not ask your assistant to buy inappropriate gifts for your spouse.
3. Do not call an employee's home...say past 9 pm.
4. Do not throw staplers.

It's a well known fact that productivity and morale is higher with a fair, even tempered boss at the helm.

(A related story can be read here...)

Chivalry is NOT Dead!

What is a gentleman to do when he wants to be just that?  A gentleman!  Fifty years ago the rules were non-negotiable.  He'd be considered crass if he did not open the door for her.  Or aid in putting on her coat. 

{Etiquette Past:  On the street, a man walked on the curb side — a custom born of the idea that women needed to be shielded from the potential hazards posed by the passing horse-and-buggy parade.}

These times are a-changing and some women wield power by showing their independence and "diss" acts of kindness by a man.

Gentlemen.  Here is the solution.  Ask her what she prefers.  "May I help you with your coat?"  "Here, let me get the door for you." You have shown good manners and it's up to her to accept graciously or in my opinion, be crass by refusing the offer.

I think that even today women like to be treated like ladies.  I know I do!

Fine Arts Etiquette: A Fine Line

As we sat in the fine arts center waiting for the program to start; my eyes darted to & fro.  Oh, my---a gentleman in shorts and a ball cap.  There's a woman with enough thigh and cleavage showing I wonder, how DOES she sit comfortably? 

And two seats down a hip teen pulls out the cell phone and texts.  And texts more.  Even when the lights go out. 

People are supporting the fine arts.  Yay!  But, in my humble opinion the art of "what to do in public" is not so fine!

Communication Counts!

(reproduced with permission from artist/cartoonist, Dave Coverly)

Hys-ter-ical.  Dave Coverly's cartoon made my husband and I laugh out LOUD!  I clipped it and held on to it.  I'll definitely incorporate it in a future class.

The cartoon is spot on.  What HAVE we come to?  The art of communication is a bunch of grunts without eye contact.

I tell students to turn off cell phones at the beginning of a class.  You'd think I had asked them to cut off their thumbs.  I mean really....you should see the eye contact I get at THAT request.

An earlier post of mine on how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree is here.  I hope the cartoon is far from your reality.

May I suggest YOU communicate to your kiddo

just how to communicate.

We like:

- To look into their eyes
- Shake their hands
- Learn something about them (in person not via a text message)

Strong communication skills are signs of a confident young person and a potential leader.

Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young had something when they sang "Teach Your Children Well."

Manners=Tools for Life!

It takes 12 to 15 seconds to make a good (or poor) first impression.  The majority of kids that come to a Manners Boot Camp (or other venue) are a wee bit hesitant.  Some cling to their parents, others find a chair and hunker down (aka poor posture) and attempt to be invisible.

...and in the middle of class a transformation can occur.  When they learn that manners help them feel comfortable in a social situation; they get it.  We role play.  Shake hands.  Practice introducing one another. 

When we have a dining tutorial they rise to the occasion.  They ask great questions too! 

Last week University of Texas-Houston Medical School held an Etiquette Dinner for some of their pre-med students. 

One such question was "What do I do with the lemon on my glass

if I don't LIKE lemon?"

 

I suggested:  1. discard it on their bread plate (if they have one) or 2. "plop" it into the glass without squeezing.  The drink won't taste lemony (since it wasn't squeezed) and yet it's out of the way.

Now, the pre-med students were NOT hesitant.  In fact, they were excited to be there; realizing the value of how to handle (everything) themselves at dinner while making an excellent impression. 

The gentlemen rose a bit from their chair when the young ladies excused themselves.  That was new to them.  And when they heard how it impresses "chicks" - I do believe it'll become one of their "tools."

That's how I look at manners - they are TOOLS FOR LIFE.  No matter where you come from, how educated you are, what job you have - IF you have good manners you automatically look more confident.
And these future docs must look confident!

We end class by shaking hands - a firm handshake, web-to-web, with good eye contact.  And again - no matter how old they are...they leave with firmer handshakes and a bit more confidence.

They've added a few tools to their tool box for life!